(Wholesome) Parents of the Year (??)

I am quite certain that, based on the last week, Lady M and I are going to be nominated for "Parents of the Year". (yeah, right....)
Again, I do apologize for the lag in posts. Obviously it is a busy time of year for all of us, so I really have no excuse, other than to say that I've been trying to work as much overtime as possible at the "Mill" so that we can get "Baby Ruth" some nice presents this year. *wink*

Anyway, on to the award explanations.......

A very good friend of mine who, until fairly recently, was a closeted Romance writer, recently had her first book signing. (WAY TO GO CIAR!!!!) (By closeted, I mean that I did not know that she was such a phenomenal writer....in fact, I had no idea that she wrote at all.)
Unfortunately, I was working the day of the signing, and because it is crunch time at the factory, I couldn't get the day off. So, I badgered "Lady M" until she conceded and agreed to go purchase a signed copy of Ciar Cullen's "Lords of Chi" for me. At the time, I could think of no reason why this would not be a good idea. "Lady M's" comment of, "Oh good, I'll get my Dad's magazines while I'm there" should have been a clue, however.
(I should mention that the book is technically -Ciar, correct me if I'm wrong- EROTIC FANTASY FICTION.)
So, long story short, I sent my wonderful partner and our beloved offspring to Borders in the local mall to purchase an Erotic novel and Playboy magazines ("Dad's mags")!! I can only imagine the thoughts going through people's heads as "Lady M" approached the counter with a signed copy (which I am VERY proud to have, btw) of "Lords of Chi" and a stack of Playboy magazines with a toddler in her arms.
I imagine things like, "Oh, that poor child! What kind of environment is she being raised in?" and "Oh, you filthy woman........what do you teach this child?"
The reality is, most likely no one noticed or cared, but in my mind, this is strike number one against us for parents of the year.
Strike two came when young "Baby Ruth" decided to titter totter up to the Christmas tree, snatch one of the light bulbs off and pop it in her mouth. This has been a recurring activity, hence strike number two.
I'm giving myself credit for strike number three.
In an effort to get us out the door on time, I decided that I'd try my hand at multitasking. Nothing Earth-shattering, just thought that I'd let the dogs out while changing "Baby Ruth's" diaper. So, out go the dogs (btw, it is rather wet outside) and I set to changing the diaper which, of course, was full of poop. As any well trained young human will do, as soon as I pulled off the dirty diaper and applied the diaper cream, "Baby Ruth" demonstrated her quickness and scurried across the floor. At the same time, in came doggie number one tracking muddy paw prints across the freshly cleaned carpet. I recovered "Baby Ruth" and finished the diapering process. I then grabbed a baby wipe in an effort to clean the floor. During the second that it took me to turn around, "Baby Ruth" began her investigation of the poop filled diaper. I quickly recovered the diaper and turned my attention to the dirty paws afoot. Again, "Baby Ruth", the investigator extrodinaire, turned her attention elsewhere. I glanced back (again, maybe a second or two later) just in time to see a little tiny pointer finger jammed into the opening of the diaper cream.)
Needless to say, the baby wipe that was meant to be used to clean paws was used to clean little tiny fingers.

Although we may not be candidates for "(Wholesome) Parents of the Year", I think we are doing OK. I mean, at least we're not running a "meth." lab in the basement and turning tricks on the nearest street corner! (not that I know anything about this sort of thing......uh.....I mean.....I just overheard something like it at the "Mill" the other day.......yeah, that's it.....)