Greetings, Earthling it's all a BIG TEST

Do you ever get the feeling that you are from a different planet?
I have been convinced for many years now that some day, "my people" will come back to get me. Maybe it has something to do with the dreams I had as a child of the space ships in the sky just beyond our neighborhood. Just thinking about it, although it is more than 20 years later, gives me a feeling of awe and excitement. In reality, I think that either "my people" forgot that they dropped me off, or this is all some cruel joke. Today, I feel quite sure that whether or not I am actually from another planet, it appears to other "Earthlings" that I am.
All right, here is the background on the alien thing. Bear with me....I'll get to the point in time.
The day began as any other non-work day. I got up, had coffee, walked the dogs, read the paper, etc. The plan for the day was to work on the written portion of my Black Belt test which is due in a couple of weeks. Now those who know me, and especially my fellow classmates (current and former) know well how consuming this testing experience is. The preparation in and of itself is enough to make you feel alienated from the rest of society. So, after my initial morning activities, I hunkered down with my test, laptop, and a few other resource materials and dove into the typing. This lasted for approximately 20 minutes before I got antsy and began exploring the ins and outs of the new laptop. Then, I built a new bird feeder and removed icky bugs from the window overlooking our backyard and new bird feeder. (Yeah, I was like this when I was actually in school too. It's amazing that I have a degree!)
With all of those necessary activities out of the way, I felt able to truly concentrated on the test materials.....so I made an egg burrito. It was one of the best darn egg burritos I have had in a long time!
Procrastination finished, I plopped back down and actually finished one question. (Essay questions, not the True/False jobbies) Actually, the questions are interesting and thought provoking and fun to research. So, being that they are such fun to research, and research can be done with books, and books can be found in a book store, it seemed high time to head off to the book store! Lady M and Baby Ruth also thought this seemed like a good idea, so off we went! (I did take along the test and laptop with the intention of working on the material in the cafe.) The next big decision was which store to go to. I chose Borders because, although on the other side of town, the cafe' is roomier and the whole place has a better feel to it. Of course, I inadvertently began heading towards the local Barnes and Noble and had to turn around to head back to Borders......should have followed my instinct, though. We arrived at Borders and braved the rain only to find that the Cafe' was closed (I assume for renovations based on the large tarp around it.....otherwise, I don't want to know why it's closed.) So, off to Barnes and Noble we go, but not to the one that I initially drove towards. This one is inside a little mall. Perfect for Lady M and Baby Ruth. They trotted off into the mall and I headed straight for the cafe' area for some coffee and a scone.
(This is where the "from another planet" thing comes into play)
I patiently awaited my turn in line, mouth watering over the coffee with soy milk and the blueberry scone that I was about to devour. The experience went something like this:
BARISTA 1: [mundane look on his face] "Can I help the next customer?"
ME: "Yes, could I have a grande coffee of the day with a little bit of soy milk, please an"...[he interrupts]
BARISTA 1: "OK that will be $1.87" *ka ching* goes the register
ME: [annoyed with being interrupted AND potentially missing out on that mouth watering scone that I shouldn't be eating anyway but now MUST order] "Uh, AND a blueberry scone, please."
BARISTA 1: [begrudgingly adding it into the total] *sigh* "blueberry?"
ME: "Yes, blueberry. Sorry, guess I didn't say it fast enough." (OK, uncalled for, but give a customer a chance to order, will ya? I had my scone, which was not spit on because I watched it the whole way to the counter and I slid over for my coffee which I witnessed being poured into the cup. Barista 2 placed the 3/4 full cup in front of me and placed the lid on it saying, "you wanted soy?"
ME: "Yes, please"
Barista 2 nodded and cocked his head toward the 3/4 full cup of very dark liquid.
ME: "Oh, is it in there already?" I asked while removing the lid and gazing curiously at the dark coffee.
BARISTA 2: "Yeah, it's in there."
ME: "Oh, uh, really? Uh, could I add a bit more, perhaps?" (my inner alien is saying, "it's in there? are you f-ing kidding me? I just watched you pour the coffee into the cup and it's just as black now as it was then, besides the fact that I just paid nearly $2.00 for a cup of coffee that isn't even full!")
BARISTA 2: "You want to add more?" (apparently he speaks inner-alien, because he sure gave me an odd look!)
ME: "Yes, could I?"
[BARISTA 2 gets out the soy mild and pours a few globs into my cup]
ME: "Perfect, thank you very much" - trying to sound pleasant.
Again, BARISTA 2 looks at me like I just came out of a steam room and forgot my robe.
ME: "Heh....gee...(yes, I said "gee") I feel like I'm from a different planet today."
BARISTA 2: [no smile, not even a smirk] "yeah, like us all, some days"
ME: [thinking, OK, now we are on the same page] "Heh heh....I just wish I remembered the trip, I bet it was a good one"
BARISTA 2: absolutely no comment, grin, smile, or other indication of amusement as he turns his head and looks at me as though I just turned green and began to beam up right in front of him.

I never did get beamed up, but I did have another interesting experience before we left the store. I met a lovely young man in the martial arts book aisle who was looking for a particular book. Prior to us speaking, I pulled a book off of the shelf to read the back cover. He glanced at it and said happily, "Oh, that's the one that I was looking for." I handed it to him and said,"looks interesting, enjoy". I had to convince him that I did not want to buy it because I was looking for something by Prof. Wally Jay. He inquired as to who that was and what sort of book I needed, so I proceeded to explain Small Circle Theory Jujitsu in 30 seconds or less. (This was good practice for me, as I need to talk about it on my test.) He then realized that the book he now had was not what he was looking for, but rather one with a similar title. I happened to know the book well ("The Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman) and informed him that he would have better luck in the fiction or Spiritual sections. We ended our chat, he went in search of the "Peaceful Warrior" and I levitated over to the Bargain books where I soon came across a bargain copy of "Peaceful Warrior" and "Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior" combined under one cover. What a deal, I thought, as I grabbed the book. I must find that guy and give him this book!
Utilizing skills learned from watching The Secret, I found the fella sitting with a lady friend at a table. He had a new copy of "Peaceful Warrior" and I happily presented him with the bargain that I found. It occurred to me only after a brief exchange and a couple of silly comments on my part that it must have seemed very odd to his lady friend that a stranger came trotting over to their table and presented her beau with a book that he had been looking for earlier and had, in fact, already found. (oh well)
Finally, once again utilizing skills learned from The Secret, I managed to "manifest" and empty table and sat down to answer another question on my test. It was just about that time that Lady M and Baby Ruth showed up and were ready to check out.
So, here I am, twelve hours after beginning the work on my test, still trying to finish it...........Today's experiences reinforced for me the need for patience, kindness, and the importance of helping one another even in the most unlikely of ways. Also important virtues in the world of Martial Arts.......I think I just answered another question from my test......