It's All Fun and Games Until.........

If you have read my Facebook update for today, you already know the main subject of this post.  However,  you have not received the full impact of the day's adventures.  Read on, if you so choose.

The Start


It was a bright and sunny morning that began with a short drive to leave a car at a garage followed by a lovely bike ride through the park to get back home.  I decided during the ride that I really should do this every day that I am off work (the bike ride, not the car to garage part).  It was really a lovely ride.  Now, as is our usual "M.O." (That's "cop talk" for Modus Operandi, btw - or so they tell me), Mare and I were in a bit of an individually collective rush.  She wanted to go for a walk with Lucy (Lab) before Stevie and I needed to leave for Stevie's day at Dance camp.  I pedaled as fast as my little legs could go and made it back just in time.

We can fast forward a wee bit here.  No one needs to know that the girls watched an episode of Avatar: The last Air Bender while I showered and that we had scrambled eggs after that, then started to get Stevie dressed for camp as Mare arrived back home with Lucy.  Since there is no need to put that part in, I'll skip right to the part where Stevie and I were just about to walk out the door when Mare yelled something to the effect of, "Oh No!  Holy Sh%t!  What is.....we......we.....we have a leak!"
"huh?" I said, with the usual level of brilliance that I display around the house.  Then what she had said registered with my cognitive senses and I darted to the front room where she was standing and staring at the ceiling.

Sure enough, there it was.  A crack in the ceiling with little bubbles lining the edge of it and drips of water going "plop", "plop", "plop" onto the table underneath.  Crap.  Definitely a leak.  Obviously.  Not that I doubted Mare's assessment by any means, I was just hoping that maybe something had spilled onto the ceiling and was dripping innocuously into the air and evaporating before causing any puddles.  Now, the positive part about the water dripping in this particular area is that it was over top of a table of houseplants, so, I simply pulled the table forward and allowed the water to "plop", "plop", "plop" into the plants.

Putting our heads together to determine the source of the leak, we concluded that it was, in fact, NOT the toilet based solely on the layout of the house and fact that the bathroom is not over that particular area.  (We are clearly destined to be the next Cagney and Lacey.)  After some brief pondering and a sprint up the stairs, I was able to determine that the leak was coming from the area of the upstairs window containing the air conditioner.  Apparently when I installed it, I did not provide enough of a tilt for the condensation to drain out the back and it had pooled into the window sill and begun draining into the wall, thus seeping its way out to the ceiling and down through the pre-fab crack.  (Pre-fab crack sounds much better than just letting you think that we have cracks in our plaster ceilings.)

Now might be a good time to remind those who may have forgotten that I have a "special" gift.  It is called "distractabilititis" or, as Mare calls it, "adult A.D.D."  Personally, I think it is just an underrated ability to juggle multiple activities/tasks.

Anyway, being so concerned about the ceiling and a.c., I darted off with Stevie to camp, then headed to the gym for a rigorous workout.  (Exercise always helps me get focused on what needs to be done.)  Then I stopped by Target to pick up a new Britta pitcher since ours had mysteriously thrown itself onto the floor when Mare took it out this morning.  (forshadowing, perhaps?)

The Fix Begins


Upon returning home, I began my attack on the situation at hand.  I went up to check the floor and dripping situation.  The a.c. was off and heat rises, so it was quite toasty upstairs.  The good news was that the dripping had stopped.  Simple enough to remedy, I thought.  I shall simply take the unit out, place a bit of wood underneath, and tilt it back so that the water drains outside rather than in.  And so I went to work.

I went to the garage, found some wood and cut it to size.  I went back upstairs, then realized that I needed the screwdriver that I had left downstairs.  I went back down and found the needles (for inflating balls) that I had just purchased at Target, looked for my flat basketball and had a snack.  Finding the basketball and pleasantly full from my snack, I went to the garage for the wood that I had forgotten out there.  I pumped up the basketball, made a couple of shots, then remembered the wood.
Upstairs with the wood I went, then back down for the screwdriver that was still downstairs.  While getting the screwdriver, I also grabbed the tub and tile caulk.  Back upstairs I trotted and proceeded to begin the recaulking of the edge of the bathtub.  I then realized that I had planned to replace the gasket behind the tub drain, so using the screwdriver that I now had in my hand for removal of the air conditioner, I removed the overflow cover from the tub.  Of course, in order to get the old gasket off, I needed to be BEHIND the tub, so I pulled all of the laundry out of the closet in order to get to the pipes. It was then that I realized just how hot it really was upstairs, which reminded me that my REAL mission was the air conditioner reconfiguration.  So, back to the bedroom I went, screwdriver in hand, and proceeded to pull the unit out of the window.

Everything in place, I was now ready to return the air conditioner to its rightful place on the sill.  I popped that puppy in there and realized that I needed the window to open just a wee bit more.  In order for that to happen, I needed to release the top part of the window and open it as though I were removing the bottom pane, this way, the top part of the pane tilts in and the bottom remains in the track.  The window was now free to move, so I pushed up.  Nothing.  Pushed harder and still nothing.   Frustration started to set in, so I rooted to the ground and pushed from the very core of my being.
Up went the window in the blink of an eye.  In that same blink, OUT went the air conditioner which had, apparently, been leaning against the window for support.  Suddenly, the air conditioner that had been in my window was replaced by a power strip, dangling as if to say, "you plug one more thing into me and I'm going to jump too!"

"Oh F*&k," I exclaimed, and then began to laugh so hard that I was crying.  As I was laughing, I was wondering what the heck was so funny, yet I couldn't stop laughing.  Mare wasn't sure if I was crying in pain or laughing.  She heard a thud, the birds flew from their perches and scattered, the dogs ....well, the dogs didn't really do anything.

The Aftermath

On the ground, down below, lay our air conditioner.  No longer in any condition to provide air for us.  It lay broken and mangled.  The damp ground did not provide a welcome cushion for the fall.  Humpty Dumpty would not be put together again.  And I laughed.  Mare came up to investigate and she laughed at the fact that I was laughing.  We laughed.

She walked back downstairs, I sighed, wiped my eyes and turned to close the window which promptly fell forward and whacked me on the forehead.   I stopped laughing.
I checked for blood, saw none, then saw myself throwing the window out with the air conditioner.  I quickly realized that this would not be a positive course of action and just yelled at the window instead.  That was much more effective.  The window did not apologize.  I think the bonk on the head was the window's way of letting me know that it was grieving the loss of the air conditioner as much as we were.  Clearly windows have feelings too.

So, having more time on my hands since I had no air conditioner to reconfigure, I returned to the task of removing the gasket from the partially dismantled bath tub overflow drain.  While removing the old gasket, I thought it would be a good idea to fish around under the floorboards behind the tub and see if I might locate the electrical box for the kitchen ceiling light.  I closed my eyes (which was totally unnecessary since I couldn't see under there anyway, but at least this way I could ward off any monsters that might come out after me) and reached as far as I could under the floor boards.  I touched something hairy.  It was prickly and hairy.  I would have jumped, but my hand was under the floorboards and I was in the closet.  (the actual closet, not the "other" closet....I came out of that one years ago.)  Anyway, I closed my eyes tighter and felt again......I gently grabbed the hairy, prickly thing and pulled it out.
It was a vacuum cleaner brush attachment!
Very interesting.  What else could be in there?

The Search, The Grab, The Conclusion


We obviously needed to repair and replace a couple of things around the house, so after picking Stevie up from camp, we decided to take full advantage of the hour prior to getting her back for her evening class.  I darted into Home Depot to grab a new gasket and an air conditioner.  No on the a.c., yes on the gasket.  Lowes was also sold out of air conditioners.  That left only one place available.....Walmart.  *sigh*
Walmart came through for us.  I grabbed one of the two remaining reasonable sized units available, balanced it on my cart (with the help of a very kind gentleman - customer, that is) and scampered off to pay for my treasure.

After dance class, I put on a bit of a show for the neighbors as I tried numerous positions in my failed attempts to get the air conditioner out of the box.  I finally conceded my loss and drug the open box across the grass to the front door.   Eventually I got it out with Mare's assistance and lugged the thing upstairs where I promptly got jammed in the doorway to the bedroom, air conditioner stuck on one side, my finger on the other.  After a lengthy howl, I realized that I needed to back up, turn around, and back myself into the room.

A wave of the magic wand and "poof" the new unit was placed in the window and purring like a mountain lion that just swallowed a snake.  This thing is rather large and much louder than the one that got away.  The important thing is that it works and it did not fall out of the window.

We now have a new air conditioner, a new overflow drain gasket, and a freshly caulked tub.  I have a dent in my finger and a bump on my head, and I am now certain that there is a pot of gold, a gnome, and perhaps some other fun treasures strategically placed within the walls and ceilings of our house.

Tune in tomorrow for a quick recap of my evening venture outside of my comfort zone.....aka. Zumba

Thanks for stopping by!