Lessons at the Fair

Yesterday Lady M, Little S and I had a lovely trip to a very large fair with Lady M's parents. We'll call them "Jorge'" and "Cinderella" for the purposes of this post. (just randomly chosen names, no specific reason for them)
We began our adventure by forgetting the stroller for little S and having to return home to get it. Thankfully we were only about 10 minutes into the 2+ hour trip. Now, I am not at all fond of these type of events, so when we pulled back into the driveway to retrieve the stroller, I did consider running away to hide under a shrub. Unfortunately, we don't have any shrubs,
so off we went.
Our drive was lovely. Only one pit stop was needed (by me, mostly) and it would have been a quick one, had it not been for the three tour buses filled with senior citizens - mostly ladies - who filed into the restroom just before my fair maiden Lady M got there. (oops) Then, of course, there was the bus that parked directly in front of the parking lot exit because, in the words of the bus driver who I found strolling out of the rest area, "well, first thing's first, ya know." I used my "authority" and "gently" requested that he pull the bus forward a few feet so the cars could get out.....he kindly obliged and we were once again on our way.
We arrived at the fair, and my educational experience began.
(A bit of history)
Growing up, I recall attending a few festivals/fairs. The memories of the one annual festival that we attended consist of riding the Ferris Wheel with "Pap.", throwing ping pong balls in goldfish bowls, and getting annoyed with the other little kids who were riding the train with me and kept ringing the d@mn bell. (yes, I was prudish even as a little tyke.) We attended the other semi-local event primarily for the horse shows, if memory serves correctly. All in all, I know little of Fair etiquette.
(Back to the present)
As it turns out, the main goal of fair attendance is to eat as many different things as possible and play as many inexpensive games as quarters will allow. Shopping must also be squeezed in throughout the day. The way to attain these goals is simply to PACE yourself. Do not eat too much at one time. Choose the order of cuisine based mainly on the layout of the fair, and choose one's path through the fair based on the level of hunger (or nausea as it may be). My personal goal was to have a semi-nutritious lunch and some rice pudding. So, we started off with pierogies (very nutritious). The rice pudding, although nearby, was to come later, when it was time to leave. (This was where I learned my food lesson - Lesson One.)
After snack number one, we began the migration. We formed a sort of train. Jorge' and Cinderella on the motorized scooters, Lady M with the stroller containing Little S, and I following the slow moving caravan, not sure of where to go and somewhat afraid of getting lost among the farm animals.
We soon came upon a balloon man trying desperately to hold onto his large supply of character/animal balloons. (It was a bit breezy and he had a LOT of balloons.)
Grandma (Cinderella) wanted to get Little S a balloon, so a lovely pink dolphin was chosen. Unfortunately, as I was attempting to tie said dolphin to the stroller, the wind blew it at little S, thereby frightening little S and eliciting blood curling screams any time the pink dolphin floated in her direction. The dolphin spent most of the rest of the day tied to the back of Grandma's scooter and I spent most of the day chasing Grandma on the scooter to re-attach the dolphin to the seat so that it wouldn't whack her in the head. The good thing about the balloon on Grandma's scooter was that it made her much easier to find. It is amazing how easy it is to lose "elders" on scooters at a fair. (I should mention that it was senior citizen day and scooters can be rented at the fair).
(Lessons two and three - bring a fish net? or Buy a smaller balloon (2) and Attach a blinking light on a pole to the rear of the scooters (3))
Little S enjoyed her first fair game. She got to pick up swans from a little pool. She's a good picker and even gave the swans back to the game lady. She won TWO prizes - a stuffed beetle and a crab - she picked them out herself. Little S continued her string of victories throughout the day, winning a stuffed frog, dog, unicorn, and lizard of some sort. Not bad for a 10 month old, no? (ok, so she had some help)
(Lesson Four - bring a wagon for the "loot")
All in all, it was a "fair" experience. I learned important lessons, we left with a trunk full of stuffed things, and I got my rice pudding. The best part (for me, anyway) is that the adventure will not occur again for a full year!