Night on the town (or "Oh my God, that feels so good, you have NO IDEA!")

Notice:  1.)  If you have children, you are likely to identify closely with the contents of this post.

              2.) If you are thinking about having children, you may or may not want to continue.

                    a.) Social misfits and those who prefer the "quiet" life - you are safe to continue.

                    b.) Social butterflies, those who prefer the "wild" life - carefully consider your options..... 

Okay, now that the official "Notice" is out of the way, let me continue.  (If anyone is still reading...."tap, tap tap....testing 1,2,3.....tap....is this thing on??")

Once or twice a month, or every other month, or so, Mare and I afford ourselves the opportunity to venture out - alone.  (By "alone", I mean just the two of us.)  I should specify.  Whenever Nanny or Gram come to visit, we leave Baby Ruth and the KitKats with the lucky "Grand" and off we go, usually to dinner and a movie.  Good times.

Our plan tonight was just that, well, except for the dinner part.  In a concerted effort to consume low calorie, healthy treats, Mare whipped up a tasty dinner for us all.  We then planned to go to a movie.   You guessed it, the key word there was "PLANNED".  We were very well intentioned.  Dinner was planned and in the works in plenty of time.  Pajamas were ready for the Chillin's.  Nanny was set with her evening activities and bed time rhetoric.  I even completed the set up of the two new car seats!  We were Rockin' and Rollin'!

Now, who can tell me what car seats come in?  Anyone?  Yes, that's correct.  They come in boxes.  Very large boxes.  We had two.  What is the best toy EVER?  (If you are connected to me on Facebook, you already know the answer, so no cheating!)  YES!  Excellent!  CARDBOARD boxes that are large enough to hold a small child.  What is better?  (Yes, there is something even better.)  Our boxes were large enough to hold not only one small child, nor two, but rather a small child AND an adult.  I think it is needless to say but I'll put it out there anyway.  Baby Ruth and the KitKats and I spent the next 40 minutes or so playing in the boxes.  We played roller coaster, we hopped around the room in the box, we slid into the boxes, we tipped the boxes over (landing on the soft bag of stuffed animals).  It was a grand time.  

Next thing we knew, it was time for dinner and Mare and I had only 30 minutes to eat, change clothes and head to the movies.  Not wanting to rush and get indigestion, we decided that a trip to the bookstore for some browsing and bonding would suffice.  At least we would be out and about.  So, we put the girls to bed, tucked everyone in (including Nanny) and bid them all good night.  Then, we started thinking outside the box.  Since we would be heading out anyway, why not stop by Target to return some umbrellas which we had purchased earlier in the day for the KitKats and which had promptly broken in one way or another.  While in the shopping area, we decided, we may as well stop by Walmart to pick up the Ship to Site package that was now available.  We would still have plenty of browsing and bonding time.  

First stop, Target.  I waited in the car while Mare made a successful return.  We then headed over to Walmart.  Now, I have not been in a Walmart in quite some time and I am very much a creature of habit, especially when it comes to stores and shopping.  I go to the same places, walk the same route through the store, look at the same items and areas, and usually purchase similar items each time.  (fyi, see # 2(a) above)  Well, what a special treat it was to venture into a new realm.....the realm of Walmart.  It is different there.  I'm not sure what makes it so different.  I mean, the products and prices are very similar to Target, so why the difference in the clientele?  Alas, that is a discussion for another post.  Anyway, immediately upon entering, I was drawn to the rack of "MMA" shorts.  I had no idea that Walmart carried such items!  Much to my dismay, the only pair in my size was a less than attractive pair of brown camouflage shorts.  During my search, Mare had ventured off to pick up our shipment.  I spent the next few minutes wandering aimlessly about in the front of the store looking for her like a lost child.  Finally, I decided to venture off to the restroom all by my "big girl" self.  Just as I entered the stall, she called me to let me know her exact whereabouts.  Based on the background noise from my end of the line, I think it was unnecessary for me to tell her where I was.

Finishing my "business", I meandered through the store, browsing and picking up a few necessities that were on sale.  (FYI, Toy Story band aids are only $1.68 right now)  I then made my way to the back of the store for a joyful reunion with my date for the evening.  She had also collected a few "necessities".  (I am looking forward to drawing with the new glitter markers and Color Wonder paper!  Hey, maybe we'll decorate our boxes!)  We even managed to find some new, hopefully heartier, umbrellas for the KitKats.  (As we perused the umbrella selection, I had the mischievous notion to open up ALL of the umbrellas and leave them for the night shift clean up crew.  Of course, having worked in the retail world, I wouldn't dare do such a thing, but it made me giggle nonetheless.)  (again, see #2(a) above)

Our work completed at Walmart, we checked the time and decided that, despite the late hour (it as nearly 9:00 PM), we would carry on with our plan and head to Barnes and Noble.  After all, they are open until 11:00pm on Friday and Saturday nights; probably for folks just like us.  

Upon our arrival at B&N, I insisted that we check the hours, just in case they did close at 10.  I figured there was little point in going in if we had only half an hour.  Mare, on the other hand, thought that would be plenty of time.  Much to my delight, my extended hour hunch was confirmed and we decided to forge ahead. 

"Heck", we thought, "maybe we'll stay until 10:30."  

Mare said, "I don't care, we can even stay until 11:00, as long as I can go right to bed when we get home.  I want to get up early and walk the dogs."  (yep, just what I'm thinking about during a "night on the town" with my wife.)

Anyway, so in we went and decided to get crazy and go to the cafe'.  We ordered caffeinated beverages and began our browsing.  A couple of good finds later, we decided to settle into some seats and begin our bonding.  Mare opened her magazine and I pulled out my laptop.  She read, I composed.  Sickening, the romance, isn't it?  

Every now and again I read a quote to her.  She showed me another magazine that she thought I might find interesting.  I nodded in appreciation as I handed it back to her, barely able to take my fingers from the keyboard lest I not complete my work for the night.  (By "work", I mean "composition", and by "composition", I refer to this Blog post.)

Yes, my friends, we live on the edge of romance and extremism.  We are Livin' Large and Lovin' Life!  I was not able to complete this while in the store.  The "we will be closing in half an hour" announcement came over the p.a. system, and not wanting to be stragglers, Mare promptly paid for our purchases as I closed my laptop.  

We exited the store and Mare then exclaimed something that every "husband type" wants to hear at least once in a while: "Oh my God, that feels so good, you have NO IDEA!"

Yep, she was referring to the balmy air outside the store.  She had been quite chilly inside.

We have now returned home.  Mare has gone to bed as planned, and I am unwinding from our adventures with my "Mac-Daddy", some blue corn chips and a Shipyard Summer Ale.  Now who can top this evening?

C'mon, I dare ya!

;-)

Templates, irony and random musings

The irony of it all.  I just had to do it.....I was perusing the new Blogger templates and I found this one.  It's RAIN on a window.  HA HA HA HA.  It is Not a "sunny day"!  Or is it?
Sometimes I really enjoy a rainy day.  I mean, I enjoy the sun too, but the rain can be nice.  A slow, steady rain, pelting gently against the windows, soaking into the ground for a natural flower watering.  I enjoy it most on a warm summer day.  I even enjoy running in the rain on days like that, though usually I am working.

There are so many lovely templates to choose from.  I'll keep this one for a little while, at least until I feel a need for shift in my Blog feng shui.

Goals and Goal Setting.....my perspective, that is

Yesterday I heard the following exchange between two women a young lady with whom I am familiar and another (an attorney) who I had not previously met:

(A) Attorney: "So, what did you do before this job?"

(YL) Young lady: "Oh, I was a paralegal."

(A) "Really? So, what are your goals now?  Do you have any goals?"

(YL) "No, not really.   I don't have any goals, I mean, this opportunity came along and I decided to take it."

Upon speaking with "YL" after the exchange took place, she informed me that she felt rather silly leading this woman to believe that she had no goals in life.  While she was amused, she felt uncomfortable with the likelihood that this woman was passing judgement on her perceived lack of gusto.  We had a nice chuckle at the probable thought process of the attorney.  Maybe something like, "oh, this poor girl.  She had such a future, now here she is running around carrying papers and getting coffee with no real goals."  On the surface, it may seem exactly that way.  YL may have had a promising legal career ahead of her.  She may have continued her studies and become a high powered attorney, making history with her legal prowess.  Or not.  Who knows and who cares.  YL saw an opportunity in front of her, one that she saw as an exciting adventure (btw, I really can't say what she does, so suffice it to say that it is not a job for just anyone) on which she felt a calling to embark. 

The reality of YL's scenario is that she does, in fact, have goals.  Now, we did not go into a detailed discussion of her long term life plans or anything, but in our brief chuckle over her conversation with the attorney, we did focus on the goals of the moment.  At the moment, ("moment" meaning "this point in time" generally speaking) her goal is to be the best that she can be at whatever it is that she is doing at the time.  An admirable goal, I think.

All of this lead me to ponder the premise of "goal setting".  What exactly does this mean, how important is it, to whom, and why?  Books by "experts" have been written on this subject.  I am not an expert goal writer, or an expert anything, for that matter.  I do, however, have some thoughts on the subject.

Some may argue that goals must be measurable and being the best that one can be at a given time is not directly measurable and therefore cannot be a goal.  Okay, perhaps, but who are we to challenge someone else's goals?  

I am a part of a Martial Arts program in which we often tell students (and as students, are reminded) to set goals, write them down, keep track and then raise the bar as we achieve those goals.  We don't question one-another's mission, as we are all involved in the Martial Arts for our own personal reasons.  We do, however, help to motivate one another to become stronger, quicker, more fluent Martial Artists, and to carry these skills into our everyday lives.  We encourage one another to be the best that we can be and we give one another the space to do so in our own time and in our own way while simultaneously "raising the bar" for ourselves and each other.  The goals that I refer to here are measurable in some way and they are ever changing.  

     So what of the non-measurable goals - those times of “flux” where we are just working to be the best that we can be?  In my mind, this is perfectly acceptable.  I will refer to this as a “tweener-time”.  A time in which we are still working, moving, and living life one day at a time.  A “floatation” time, if you will.  I hesitate to say a time of waiting, because that implies a lack of doing.  I will say a time of being instead.  This might be a time in which we are entering into a new venture with unknown opportunities, or it might be a time just after we have accomplished something that we have been working toward.  It could be any time.  The important thing is that we sometimes need these down times to reflect, regroup and reassess our personal plan.  It is during these times that we are allowing ourselves to be the space in which we can grow and learn and be certain that we are headed in a comfortable direction.  (By “comfortable”, I mean a direction that resonates well within us.)

     An important point to keep in mind, however, is that we might be well served to limit the amount of time that we spend in these “tweener-times”.  I certainly would not give a time-frame, as we are all different.  However, the measure that I like to use is my own level of restlessness.  Personally, I tend to get antsy if I am not working on or toward something specific.  I am learning, however, to embrace the “tweener-times” and use them to my advantage by reflecting and reassessing, then preparing for the next endeavor.   I would say, then, that when restlessness begins to set in, that may be a good time to sit down and plot out a list of goals, plans or intentions.  To use a phrase that I have heard on more than one occasion lately, “write your life plan in pencil”; Or, write out your list of goals, plans or intentions in ink, but be open to the possibility of shifting gears and directions as life moves along.  

In other words, be open to recognizing and seizing opportunities as they come along.   Who wouldn’t want to do that, you might wonder.  I think that most of us want to be open to and recognize opportunities, but sometimes those opportunities are mistaken for roadblocks.  Sometimes, as we travel the pathway to our goals or intentions, we come across some sort of obstacle.  Whether it is physical, emotional, spiritual, alien, or some other entity, the very “thing” that seems to block our path may, in fact, be a doorway to a new beginning.  Whether a roadblock or a doorway, this bump in the road is an opportunity for us to learn and grow.  It very well may turn out that, after stepping through the doorway and achieving a specific goal, we look back at the obstacle and realize that it was vital to the achievement of our goal.  

For instance, I have been working on this post for a couple of days now.  I have encountered many bumps along the way that have precluded me from completing it.  However, each of those bumps has provided me with another bit of insight into what I want to say and how I might say it.  My current, immediate goal is to finish writing this and get it posted!

So here are the bullet points:  (each of which, of course, could easily have an entire chapter devoted to it.)

--  Goals are good whether they are broad and vague to the outsider or are daily/weekly/monthly goals/plans.

--  It is important to allow ourselves to be the space for ourselves and others to achieve and or modify our/their goals.

--  It is important to give ourselves the freedom to “move” and/or shift our focus and our goals

--  Be willing to recognize and seize the opportunity - roadblocks vs. doorways.

What is actually happening with YL is that she has given herself some leeway in her life plan.  She began one path and when a new doorway opened, she remained flexible and followed it.  She has an overview map of the area and is willing to travel previously unchartered territory on her journey through the land.  This, I think, is something that we could all do.  In fact, I think many of us do this, though we may find ourselves resisting a potential opportunity because we see it as an obstacle in our path rather than a doorway to a new journey.  So, let us all embrace our willingness to see the doorways, gather our thoughts and lists of goals and journey together on the Pathway that is before us.

It's All So Clear NOW

Do you ever get the feeling that you are playing a constant game of "catch up"?  Don't worry, that's a rhetorical question.  I feel like this nearly every day.  Always one (or more) steps behind on my "to do" list for the day. 
I know, I know, that's not a very positive way of looking at things.  Pretty much goes against the grain of everything I like to say when speaking from my soap box.  Alas, I speaketh the truth (my truth, as it were).
I think that today I figured out exactly why I am always a task or two behind schedule. 
Aside from the fact that I am certain that I have "Adult A.D.D." (for instance, while cleaning the bedroom, which should consist of dusting and vacuuming, I often find myself constructing a new piece of furniture or rearranging the room), something always comes up.
This evening's adventure sums it up quite nicely.

The background:

My lovely wife baked a banana bread/cake for my co-worker (our neighbor and kind gentleman who looks after our dogs and house when we are away and simply one of the nicest people I have ever or will ever meet.)  She asked my to take it over to him.
 
Here's how it went:
The Beginning:

I grabbed the loaf, stuck it in a bag, grabbed the keys and went to the garage to pump up my bike tires.  (successful on all accounts)
I hopped on my bike and off I went.  I peddled furiously for the 3 blocks that it takes to get to his house.  Knowing that he was at work, I thought it would make sense to "break in" - i.e. enter the house via the door by using a key to open it.  Earlier in the day I had gone over to leave some keys for a vehicle and they were still there....(this is foreshadowing, folks....just not very subtle.  It is also important to note that I have about 6 different sets of keys to different vehicles, houses, offices, etc.  Some are combined, some are not.  Please also note that I did NOT have a cell phone with me.)  Yep, I could probably just stop here, but that would be no fun, so I shall continue.

The Arrival:

I hopped off of my bicycle and trotted happily into the sunroom.  I pulled out my wad of keys and proceeded to jam some keys into the door knob.  (one at a time, of course.)  None worked.  Probably because they were the keys to the back door of MY house.  So, I placed the loaf so gently on the table and hopped back on my bike to peddle home and retrieve the "proper" set of keys.  Surely his house key must be on the other key ring.  Off I went.

Back Home:

I ran in, grabbed the other keys and zipped back over.  (btw, bicycle safety....always wear a helmet!!)

The Re-Arrival:

I hopped off the bike and trotted back into the sunroom, certain that I had the right keys this time.  (still no phone with me, btw, though I did hear a "voice" when I left my house the second time saying, "Wait, grab your personal cell....grab it....I'm serious....you should get it."  To which I responded, "huh, yeah ok, whatever", and off I went Sans phone.)
Needless to say, this was also the wrong set of keys.  Not a one would even fit in the door.  Then it occurred to me.  The door key was attached to the car key that I had brought over and "hidden" earlier in the day.  Duh!  All those trips for nothing.  It had been here the whole time!  As Stevie (formerly known as "Baby-Ruth" in this Blog) would say, "Mommy, you're so SILWY!"
So, I retrieved said keys and, being quite proud of my detective skills and sneakiness of dropping off a prized loaf of Banana Goodness to an unsuspecting pal, I let myself into the house.

The Incident:

As soon as I opened the door, I heard it.  A lovely feminine voice saying, "System Armed.  Disarm System Now", followed by "BEEP BEEP BEEP".  "Back door open. Disarm System now."  "BEEP BEEP BEEP".
So I said, "*(&&^&%***@@@#$%^&^*)*()#)"  Then I spun in a circle looking for a phone that I knew wasn't there.  I then recalled seeing a little flip phone in the car in the driveway.  The car that I had the keys for......PERFECT!!!  I grabbed the phone to call home and get a phone number to call the my pal whose house I had just entered.  Luckily I was able to get through and get the numbers as the alarm was screeching at me in the background.  Unluckily, it was a prepaid cell phone and I had used up the rest of the minutes with that one call.
CRAP.
So, I relocked the house, let the alarm keep screaming at me, and peddled furiously back home to get my cell phone.  (btw, it is a very rare occasion indeed that I don't have at least one, if not TWO phones attached to me.  Of course this is the time I pick to go without technology!)
Faster than the wicked witch going after Toto, I zipped back home, grabbed my phone and dialed. 
I have to confess.  I was talking on the phone while riding.  No, it wasn't hands free.  One hand on the handle bar, the other on the phone, holding it to my ear as I peddled and breathed heavily, hoping to get back with an alarm code before the police showed up and tackled me to the ground.  (This is why it is important to wear a helmet!)
I made it back, re-entered and keyed in the alarm code.  The plan was to escape and be on my way prior to the arrival of the "locals".  That didn't go as planned either. 
Just as I was "sneaking" back out of the house, there they were......the "locals"......out front and coming my way.  Not that it mattered.  I mean, really, how much was I going to get away with on a bicycle anyway?
Thankfully, I had the password and aside from a bit of embarrassment on my part and the loss of the banana bread surprise, there was no harm done and we all went on our merry way.

I'm hoping that is the best friggin' banana bread that my lovely lady has ever made!  (and I'm sure it is.)
So you see, it's not that I procrastinate and make myself fall behind in my "chores".  It's that the universe likes to give little quizzes and drop hints to us just to see if we are paying attention.  There are too many points to mention at which I could have made a teensy tiny turn to avoid all such chaos, so I shall leave it up to interpretation.

And so we have Clarity.

All in a Day's Work

My day began the other morning in the typical manner: wake up, groggily get a cup of freshly ground and brewed coffee (mmmm), shower, get dressed, make breakfast (note, the last two usually occur simultaneously), grab the goodies and run out the door. And so began my adventures.  


Arachniphobicoffeeia  
 
I made my way east, continuing my routine with a coffee pick-up at a "local" Dunkin Donuts. It is at this point that I generally, uneventfully, make use of the restroom. This morning, as I was doing what we ("we" meaning "potty trained humans) do in the porcelain throne room, I saw him. Right in front of me and coming fast; large, black, and hairy, he was coming right at me.  
Faster and faster - it was definitely Aragog! I know they showed his "character" dying in one of the films, but he is out and about ladies and gentlemen!  
As he got closer and larger, it was all I could do to keep from shrieking and running out of the restroom into the parking lot, pants (with all of the attached equipment - those who know what I do know what is attached) around my ankles, hoping against hope that I wouldn't trip and fall and be woven into an intricate web of ARAGOG cuisine. I was, however, frozen, partly due to fear - mostly due to the fact that I really had to pee. I'm sure he smelled my fear. It was one of those moments where time seems to slow down, unfortunately it didn't slow for Aragog. He kept coming at me and I couldn't stop peeing.  
Closer and closer he came; he just kept coming. He was nearly to my right shoe, just millimeters away from my toes, when I finally managed to grab my belt and all it's attachments and leap to safety. I put myself back together faster than Harry can create a patronis charm, washed my hands and I was OUT OF THERE!  
I slammed the door shut behind me to make sure the 8-legged giant didn't come after anyone else. I am certain that the entire eastern seaboard was saved by my courageous act of door slamming. He was, after all, at least the size of a quarter!  


The Squeegee  


Fully recovered from the Aragog incident, I continued on my way and began my search for a squeegee. You see, there are not only gigantic (quarter-size or larger) spiders here in the great Garden State, but also humming bird (or larger) size flying insects which I am fully convinced are filled with tar and purposely fly into the car windshield. Due to the many miles spent traversing the roadways up and down the state, it became imperative that I locate a squeegee.
     I stopped at the first logical place I saw - a gas station.
    The 105 year old attendant was more than happy to assist me.
     I didn't see the usual squeegee on the pump set up, so I said, "Excuse me, Sir, do you have a squeegee?"
     He seemed to be looking in my general direction, so I took that to mean that he did know that a voice had spoken.
     "Hi", I said as I raised my hand in a friendly neighborly sort of way. "Do you have a squeegee for my window?"
     He made a motion with his arm in the general direction of the pump behind me as his vocal cords resonated with a low rumble. I walked toward the pump but still didn't see the squeegee. Meanwhile, the gas-man was assisting another customer with the refueling of his truck. I wandered aimlessly about for a couple of seconds, then decided to try again.
     "Excuse me, I'm sorry, I don't see the squeegee. Where is it again?"
     This time, the ancient fellow gestured toward the building.
     It occurred to me that I must have misjudged the direction of his first gesture, so I sheepishly made my way toward the doorway. I fully expected to find a squeegee and bucket right in front of me, ready for my tar-bug removal project. However, all I found were boxes and a broom handle, minus the broom.
     Now the frustration was beginning to set in. Was this guy just not understanding what I was saying, could he not hear me, or was he just toying with my emotions? Just then, the driver of the freshly fueled work truck piped in.
"What do you need?" he asked, as though he hadn't heard my pleading requests for a squeegee the whole time he was watching his gas get pumped.
     "Oh, I was just looking for a squeegee for the bug-covered windshield, but they don't seem to have one here."
     "Did you try windshield washer fluid?" He asked.
     "Huh?" I muttered intelligently.
     "You know, washer fluid? For the windshield? You put it on there and it helps clean the window?"
     "Yes, I know what it is", I retorted, "but I still need a long object to clean it. My arms just aren't that long." (For the visual, I was dressed in a business suit and driving a large SUV, so the option of cleaning the windshield without an extension of my arm was just nonexistent.)
     "No", he said, "I mean use the windshield wipers. You put the fluid in the tank, then you squeeze the little button and the windshield wipers clean it for you. Did you try that?"
     Unable to bite my tongue any longer, I said, "Sir, I'm not an idiot. I know how to use the windshield wipers and the cleaning function. I have tried that about 10 times and these tar-filled bugs do not come off that way. It will require some scrubbing."

     "Why would you have a squeegee? Is this your gas station? I mean, do you work here?"
     "No, I don't work here, but this is my truck," he said, pointing to the large work truck next to the gas pump.
Not completely sure how to respond, I said, "Oh, ok. Well, I certainly am not expecting you to have the equipment to clean my windshield."
     "Ok, let me see what I have." 
He said this with a tone of utter annoyance, as though I had asked him to use his tongue to clean the bugs from my windshield.  
"No, really sir, it's ok."  
"Fine, just a second, let me just see if I have any glass cleaner," he grumbled as he pulled open his side container door and began to rummage through is things.  
Still not understanding why my windshield project had become so personal to him, I assured him that there was no need for him to dig through is things and that I really didn't have time to continue my quest. He seemed very annoyed and frustrated, but I had no time to help him with that. I hopped back in the car and the tar-bugs and I quickly departed the scene.  
I have no idea why my inquiry into the existence of a squeegee caused such confusion with one (very old) man and such an attempt at martyrdom in another. All I know is that the next time the windshield is covered in bugs, I'm just going to clean it with my sock. It will be less stressful for everyone.  


Sock Puppet??  


Later this same day, the bugs and I and our passengers were stopped at a traffic light. I noticed that the driver of the car in front of us seemed to be in a heated conversation based on the movements of his head. I also noticed that there seemed to be no passenger, so figured he must be on the phone.  
Then, I saw what appeared to be a tiny head in the center of the car. A closer look, (aka, slight lean forward and a squint) revealed something quite interesting. I saw with a tiny bit of surprise and a large dose of certainty, a SOCK on the man's hand.  
Yep, I was certain that he was talking to a sock puppet.  
I stared, dumbfounded. Really? A person talking to a sock puppet? Alone, in the car? Did he think that would count as a passenger for the HOV lane??  
I squinted through the tar-bug splatters and leaned forward to get a better view of the puppet show. My line of sight cleared a bit as I leaned around one of the larger splatters and then I just felt plain silly and rather disappointed.  
There was no sock puppet. No puppet at all. It was just his hand and a cell phone. He may have been talking to the hand, but at least it was holding a communication device, not wearing a sock.  
Crap, I thought. If only that guy would have had a squeegee in his truck.......and then the light turned green.

Light, Love and Beauty

I have embarked on a most intense and personal spiritual quest over the course of the last few months. I suppose it is safe to say that this is not a new quest nor am I alone in my “questing”, as we are all here on this Earth as a sort of adventure to learn all that we can in as many “ways” as we will allow ourselves. (The joy of Free Will!) It is my current plan that this post will be the first of quite a few in relation to this adventure. I think there would be many a spinning head if I were to try to cram everything that I deem important and relevant into one post. SO, get ready to hold on for the ride, if you dare!!!!

Each morning when I wake (or a bit later if I forget), I have been participating in an exercise recommended by my “Spiritual Adviser”. I express my Gratitude for the day to come and I state that I am open to receiving at least two wonderful gifts (or surprises) this day. Here is one of today's gifts:

This evening in the car on my way home from work, I was thinking about a conversation that I would like to have with a dear friend who recently returned to my life after a long absence and has more recently drifted back to the shadows. I began to verbalize my part of the conversation aloud.

“I just wish you could see yourself as you are. You are a wonderful, beautiful woman. Allow yourself to be who you truly are, not who others expect you to be, but WHO YOU ARE, on the inside. You are a beautiful being of Light, Love and Beauty. Be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place.”

It was then that I realized a “voice” was shouting over me (inside my head).

The “voice” said, “Are you listening to yourself? You are talking to YOU!”

Wow!

What an experience.

“I am a beautiful being of Light, Love and Beauty. A wonderful being of Hope, Joy and Peace. I am an extension of God's Grace.” EVERY SINGLE one of us is this! WE are Love. We are ALL extensions of God's Grace. How often we forget this; How long it has been since we have remembered this!

To the dear friend who has helped me get to this point, THANK YOU. Until we meet again, may you see within yourself your own Truth, Love and Grace.

Although I am grieving what appears to be a great loss in my life at the moment, I am also celebrating the many gifts that I have been receiving over the last 6 (or so) months and continue to receive each day. I have received a much needed awakening. The greatest gift in that is that I didn't even know that I was asleep!

As I continue this journey and ponder the many events and lessons along the way, I will continue to share the things that I am learning. I hope that in some way my experiences and “talks with myself” can help others sort through “stuff”. It seems that there truly is good to be found in even the darkest of hours if we allow our own Light to shine long enough to look around us. (and by "around" I mean "within".)

We are all connected. Allow your own Truth to set you free of your personal limitations. Allow yourselves to simply BE Light, Love and Grace and see how the world shines more brightly around you!

Stay tuned for snippets on “Unconditional Love/Unconditional Giving” and quite a few other things that will come to mind when I am less sleepy.

Meditative Writing

During a particularly melancholy period of my personal journey, I had the occasion to write down some of my thoughts and questions. This was a very interesting meditative writing experience and seemed worthwhile to share. (Modified slightly) Some of the information is my way of “thinking through” the situation, other parts seemed to come through me rather than “from” me. The questions between paragraphs are my questions and much of what follows them is the “answer” that I received. (I should also specify that I do understand that not everyone is here to experience the same lessons. The lessons that I write about below apply to those of us who ARE learning these particular things. If any of this resonates with you, perhaps we are classmates.)

Enjoy.

I find that I feel less melancholy when I remember that my thoughts control my feelings and that I control my thoughts, thereby controlling my reactions to things that happen in my life. The difficulty, of course, lies in controlling these negative thoughts.

I have, once again, begun looking “without” for my happiness. I have been searching for that outer source to bring me the peace and joy that I seek, forgetting (or perhaps choosing to ignore) that happiness only comes from within. Although I do find great joy and happiness in speaking and being with a certain person, it is not this person or a relationship with them that ultimately provides me with joy and happiness. I have already been provided with all of the happiness and joy that I need. We all are filled with joy, peace and happiness. These things are within each of us. They are a part of us and we are a part of them. We share them (“IT”) with those around us.

It is during the times that I (we) lose site of this inner containment that I (we) begin to search outside of ourselves for “IT”. It would seem then, that the loss (or misplacement) of our “IT” occurs when we begin looking for “IT” on the outside. Therefore, it must hold true that there is never any need to look for “IT”. “IT” is always there, always within, always with each of us. Sometimes “IT” goes deeply within and hides, seemingly lost.

[Why?]

Perhaps this is so that we may more readily experience those things that are meant to be part of the Human Experience. Perhaps that is part of our lesson on reaction to things and letting go of expectation. The knowledge that “IT” (“IT” being joy, happiness, peace, tranquility, alignment with “Source” of God, etc.) is always within allows the release of all expectation, all attachment to the outcome of any given situation.

Expectation and the attachment to the outcome are simply methods of seeking “IT” from the outside. By expecting something or attaching to an outcome, we are telling ourselves and the Universe that we do not feel that we are enough. We are looking for something to fulfill us, something that we can hold on to and “bring in” to our being. Ultimately, this does not work. We may, initially, increase our level of joy and happiness, but in the long run it will fade away and we will, once again, be left to seek that elusive “outer IT”.

We must remember that “IT” is within each of us. “IT” is the Light, the Truth, the Way, Joy, Peace and Happiness and WE are all of these things. As Human Beings we are simply parts of the greater Whole – We are the Universe experiencing itself in HUMAN FORM. (From “The Secret”, I think – alas, that part is a borrowed quote, though I am not sure where I heard it at the moment.)

[Why do we experience sadness and depression if we are all of “IT”?]

This is part of the experience. Humans have the ability to experience these emotions, but some of us are just now learning that these emotions do not serve us well. They do not lead toward our Highest Good.

The release of these emotions led me to the thought of a toddler having a tantrum or seemingly inexplicably loud cry. He or she is experiencing a wonderful release in the only manner he or she is able to comprehend. We, as adults, do not do this of course. Just as a child identifies with their toys or a special blanket, so too do we identify with our emotions. They are OURS and we want to hold onto them! Depression and sadness take hold because we are, in no uncertain terms, afraid to release them. If we let them go, we may have nothing left. We fear the unknown. Despite the seemingly delusional way of thinking, our Ego or “little me” (as referred to by Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, The Power of Now) does not want to let go of the comfort that has been established by these emotions which have become so dear to our hearts.

[Why hold on? Why are they “dear” to us if they are so negative and are NOT self-serving?]

They are a part of us. They are part of our challenge and part of our lesson in letting go. The challenge that we face is to learn to let go and allow the Divine Plan to work for us. Our Souls have chosen to come into this life, into this body in order to learn particular lessons.

The following is my own account/experience, though I wrote it with an open mind and “free-flowing” pen.

I am at a crossroad in my life. I can choose to allow myself the freedom of “flow” and acceptance, or I can choose to fight it and continue to seek outwardly. However, I am tired of seeking. I am tired of feeling negative and I am tired of waiting (however unintentional it may be) for someone else to determine my happiness. I am tired of all of these things, yet I still hesitate to move on. Why do I hesitate? Why do I hold so tightly to this negativity which is NOT serving my Highest Good?

Like water, I want to flow, to go with the current. (This does not imply unconditional conformity in any way. I refer only to the general flow of life.) I want to allow myself to drift with the currents because ultimately I will arrive at my intended destination no matter what. It is simply a matter of how much of a struggle I must endure to get there and how long it will take to arrive. I can choose to continue to tread water at the edge of the proverbial whirlpool and try to swim upstream to escape, or, I can take a deep breath, relax and let go. (For the lifeguards out there, you know what happens when we become tense and struggle in water – we drain ourselves of energy and ultimately we sink. When we relax and breathe calmly, we become buoyant and we float. Simply put, anyway.)

The “whirlpool” is not there to drown me (us) in sorrow or depression! The whirlpool is there to PROPEL me on my journey! It is there to assist me around the next bend and past the next obstacle.

My first step is to acknowledge the existence of the whirlpool and to stop resisting it. Although it may seem a treacherous obstacle, by resisting this “treachery”, the fear persists. It is the acceptance of what is that allows the release of fear. We do not fear what is. We fear what might be. What might be is a product of our thoughts and as we know, we sometimes allow our thoughts to get away from us.

We can, of course, imagine a future that is bright and cheery and for our Highest Good. This is a wonderful thing. However, it is our attachment to the outcome of the situation as well as our lingering imagination that lessen our ability to be present in the moment.

Getting back to “what might be”, for some people (yours truly, for one), this sometimes becomes a very negative thought pattern (I will continue to use “I” statements here, so as not to offend anyone who feels that this does not apply to them. *wink*) I think of how I want things to be in the future (which is ok), but then I begin to expect a particular outcome. I immediately form an attachment to the outcome of the situation and thereby block my own flow to achieve that which I so desire. WOW! I want immediate gratification and when I realize it doesn’t exist I become frustrated, angry and sad. Then I begin the thought pattern of wondering if these things will ever come to pass. I hold so tightly to my “ideal” that I cannot move toward it, nor can I move away from it. In order to move on in any manner, I must LET GO and LET GOD get me to my next “stop”. I must relax, accept what is and simply go with the flow.

Remember, the JOY is in our JOURNEY. It is not found only at the destination.

The Twins are here, the twins are here!!

Just a quick update to announce the arrival of our two little bundles of joy.
I will be taking a blogging break for a while as we adjust to the newest additions to our brood.

Take care all!

SM

Wildlife tunnels??

I read an article in the paper yesterday about the widening of the Garden State Parkway and the effect on certain species of wildlife. In order to lessen the negative effects on certain species of lizards, amphibians and snakes, someone came up with the idea to build "wildlife tunnels" under the roadway. In theory, this sounds like a wonderful idea. The little critters (in theory) will utilize these handy dandy tunnels to cross from one side of the busy road to the other and won't have to worry about traffic.
Now, here's my mental image of the project.
A newly widened superhighway winds gently through the midst of the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Various species of animals have set up residence on both sides of the highway. These animal families need to get to the opposite side, of course, for food, fun, and frolic. (Hey, animals have extended families too, and everyone loves a good family reunion!) Unfortunately, there is a nearly continuous flow of traffic. Way too many cars to allow the safe passage of a tiny frog or lizard. But WAIT! Not to worry! The brilliant humans have solved the problem. There are tunnels UNDER the road. Now Sal the Salamander can cross with ease.
Here it is from Sal's point of view:

One warm sunny day, Sal A. Mander crawled lazily from his murky puddle. As he did every morning upon waking, he pitter pattered over to his favorite mud spot and settled in for his morning bath. Sal sensed something different this morning. Something big.
"What is this strange vibration I'm sensing?" Sal wondered. (Salamanders are very sensitive to atmospheric change, you know.)
Then he saw it. The giant flat snake had grown even larger! Sal would have jumped right out of his scales, if salamanders had scales, that is. His heart pounding, Sal scurried to higher ground for a closer look. He could hardly believe his eyes. Now there were even more of those strange creatures with the round legs zipping over the giant flat snake's back.
"Those crazy humans must be feeding it again," thought Sal. "Now how am I going to get to Sally's house? Those zippies don't care what or who is in their path - they'll run right over me!"

Sal crept closer to the flat giant and bumped into Timmie, the cheerful timber rattlesnake.


"G' Mornin' Sal," quipped Timmie cheerfully.
"Hi Timmie," Sal said glumly.
"What's wrong, Sal?"
"Are you kidding, Timmie? Look at that! How am I supposed to get to Sally's house now? I'll never make it across the giant flat snake with all of those zippies up there!"
"No worries, Sal! Look at this." Timmie wagged her tail at a strange little tree-like object.
This was unlike any forest flora Sal had ever seen. It was a flat, shiny, yellow thing atop a green stick. There were markings on it that resemble all sorts of floor dwelling forest creatures walking, hopping and slithering into a long black hole. Sal was certain that it was some strange graffiti created by a flat snake artists trying to lure them all into the giant flat snake's belly.
Timmie sensed Sal's anxiety and explained the sign to him.
"Sal, this is a sign that the humans put here for us. Look over there - that is our safe passage to the other side of the flat giant."
Sal blinked, realized that he wasn't wearing his glasses, and quickly put them on. Now he could clearly see what was in front of him. Just a few yards away was the "black hole". Just outside of it was posted a sign, "WILDLIFE TUNNEL".
"Wild life?" wondered Sal aloud. "But I sort of enjoy my dull every day existence. Why would I want to enter the wild life?"
"No, no," chuckled Timmie, her tail rattling with glee. "Wildlife Tunnel - that is our path to the other side. We no longer have to cross over the top. Now we can go THROUGH."
"Ohhhhh," said Sal in amazement.
"C'mon, let's try it out!"
Sal and Timmie ran and slithered through the tunnel safely to the other side of the giant flat snake with hundreds, no thousands, of unaware zippies zooming along overhead.

So, do you think the brilliant engineers will post signs directing the fauna to the tunnels (like the one's that are posted so that the deer know where to cross)?

Hairy Tongue and other random thoughts

Baby Ruth apparently has a hair on her tongue. She is holding her "Baby Tad" which is covered in dog hair despite having just been vacuumed, and pitter-pattering over to me with her tongue hanging out. This can mean one of two things - she ate something disgusting, or there is a hair on her tongue. My vote is for hair.....yep, that's it......a hair......
All is now well in our little toddler's world. Hairy Tad is on the floor, collecting more hair, and Baby Ruth is bouncing and spinning on the "Bounce and Spin Zebra".

If you happen to read my posts on occasion, you will notice that I removed the "Chinese Horoscope" thing. I dunno....thought it was dumb after re-reading it and it seemed to throw off the Feng Shui of my page.

Since my last post, the majority of my spare time has been spent training for the aforementioned Black Belt test. No amount of push-ups seem to be enough to get me to where I need to be. (In fact, as I type I am doing push-ups - mentally.....sort of like learning by osmosis.....I'm sure it will help, won't it?)

This afternoon I took my darling little canines for a walk. We came upon a house in the neighborhood that has been for sale for quite some time. It is a tiny little bungalow type cape thing with window boxes that hold very brightly colored FAKE flowers. There is a large "LUXURY - TWO BEDROOM" sign in one of the windows. As the dogs and I trotted by, I couldn't help but wonder how this place could possibly be luxurious or contain two bedrooms. Okay, two bedrooms maybe, but luxurious? If you're a hobbit, perhaps. Then, as I continued to stare, I suddenly got an image of the basement of this home. (I don't know if it actually has one or not.) In my mind, the basement is the complete opposite of the image that the seller is trying to portray on the outside of the house. It is dark and dingy and there are shackles on the wall. There are wooden benches along one wall with large eye bolts in them so that the "prisoners" can be chained there. Then there are the fingernail marks on the walls and blood spatters on the windows which are covered from the outside.
I don't know why this image came to mind, nor do I want to explore it further. I know one thing - I will NEVER attend an open house at that place, no matter how curious I am about the inviting "Luxury Two Bedroom" sign! (The place probably hasn't sold because all of the prospective buyers are now chained to the benches in the basement until an appropriate offer is made.)

Methods of Thought

Earlier today I received an e-mail with the following link (thanks Mom):

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/law-of-attraction-should-be-renamed
-the-law-of-distraction.html

I purposely did not make the link "clickable", as I do not really want to promote this individual's ideology. However, reading the article would probably help you make more sense of what I am about to say. So, the link is there - just copy and paste it into your address bar if curiosity gets the better of you. ;-)

This is what my Mommy wrote in her e-mail. I have included it because it provides a quick summary of the article:
Here is a blog to read from someone who doesn't like the idea of the Law of Attraction. I agree with him in that many people may have the idea that you don't have to actively do anything to create what you want because you can just think it and then have it.

For those of you who know me, you most likely know that I am a firm believer in the "Law of Attraction". Of course, until the recent media hype, I had no idea what to call it, but now I know the buzz phrase. What is the "Law of Attraction", or, to be super cool, the "LoA"? Check out my sidebar link to The Secret for an in depth description. In my mind, though, the "LoA" can be summed up in the following statements/quotes:

"What we think about, we bring about"

"Like attracts like"

"If you build it, they will come"

"Energy flows where attention goes"

In other words, we are in control of our own lives and our own destiny, and it is up to us to choose wisely both in our thoughts and actions.
The debate comes in to play when portions of "LoA" lectures, videos, books, etc. are taken out of context. I liken it to taking a quote from the Bible without reading the rest of the passage. (Yeah, like THAT would ever happen)

Anywho, in case you still have no idea what I am talking about, I'll explain a bit further......many proponents of the "LoA" use health and wellness as a big selling point for the theory. The idea (very simply put) is that, through the power of positive thinking and conscious awareness, we can control the health and well being of our own body. This even includes healing oneself of a potentially terminal illness.

The skeptics will say that this is impossible; That only a deliberate and well planned regimen of pharmaceuticals and western medicine will affect the healing process. (Please understand that I am looking from one end of the spectrum to the other. There are many levels/schools of thought to this....very gray area, not black and white as I just made it sound.)

As the author of the.....oh, heck, here's the direct link.....Article
states, some people interpret the "LoA" to mean that they can get anything that their little heart desires simply by sitting around and thinking about it. The author begs to differ, and therefore titled his article "Law of attraction should be renamed the Law of Distraction".
Prior to reading his article, this was my reply to my Mother's e-mail:
I haven't read the blog yet, but wanted to comment on the not liking the Law of Attraction. The way I see it, like it or not, the law exists. It is somewhat like gravity, in my opinion. People may not like the fact that if they leap from a building without something to propel them upward, they will inevitably fall to the ground at the rate of 9.8 m/s/s. As for thinking and not doing, that is simple ignorance. Back to the gravity example, if I simply think about flying from a building and not plummeting to my doom, it won't work. However, if I align my thoughts and actions to this desire, then I will find a way to acquire a jet pack and will then fly rather than fall.

After reading his article, I find it very interesting that he claims to be such a skeptic of the law of attraction.
He sums it up in this one point:

this is a quote that the author used from a proponent of the "LoA":
"(4) Proponents say that by abiding by these, and avoiding "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires."

Here is the author's rebuttal:

My experience tells me that (by and large) the only person/thing that will create forever positive change in my life is ME... yes, thinking plays a role but typically it's more about my actions, my life choices, my ability to persevere and deal with discomfort, my ability to adapt and... my drive to create something from nothing."

YES!!!!!!! Craig (the author of the article), that is exactly what the "LoA" is stating!!!! It IS up to you, the individual, to make your own life choices and adapt - to create something from nothing, if that is what you want to do! The only additional piece of information that the Law of Attraction proponents include in their statements is that an individual attains his or her goals with the ADDED ASSISTANCE of POSITIVE THINKING.
BTW, I fully agree with this, especially as it relates to health - whatever ailment someone has, if they TRULY believe that their chosen healing modality will bring them back to health, and they go forth with the "treatments", then they will find good health again. (Is there more to it than this simple statement? Yes, but I will only have your attention for a limited time, so let's leave it at that for now.)

Now, I do agree with Craig that there are people out there who misinterpret, or, I should say, under-interpret the whole concept. It is not through thought alone that we can achieve our wildest dreams. It is through the alignment of our thoughts, our actions, and (I'm going to take it one step further) our attitude that enables us to achieve our goals.

With all of that said, I do think that the whole concept of the Law of Attraction is becoming way too commercialized. It's one of those things that is much better received when it is not about making money. Alas, we are all learning a little something from it, and it is proliferating some sort of intellectual thought. Please realize also that this is not a new concept. There are books upon books about the power of thought and positive thinking, some of which date back centuries!

(keep in mind, that if your "wildest dream" is to become a green sea monkey and swim to the enchanted underwater forest where you will live out the rest of your days in bubbly paradise, you might want to rethink your goals.....or wait for your next incarnation - uh oh, another can of worms opens with that one, no?)

Please, send me your comments, e-mails, whatever....I'd LOVE to hear from you about this "controversial" topic!!!!

I have been Tagged for the first time

It seems that I have been "tagged" by Ciar Cullen. Gosh I feel so special to be part of the game.....

Here are the rules:
A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.


1. I don't know 8 people with blogs to list at the end of this.
2. I used to manage a clothing store and now feel compelled to refold items (even ones that I didn't touch) when shopping.
3. I don't shop often, thankfully - see # 2.
4. I sometimes rearrange my basement "lair/office" space and then feel as though I've gotten new furniture.
5. My job at the Paper Mill ROCKS!
6. My first job was working in the bakery section of a "butcher shop" - I made hundreds of cookies. mmmmmmm.....
7. Please don't ask me to make cookies now, unless you want 90 dozen and have a very large mixing bowl.
8. Ciar Cullen is still my friend, even though she tagged me. :-)

I am tagging Hope. My only other blogging buddy that I know of.

To Terry, Sandy, and others who have gone before me

Once again, I sit and work on my Black Belt written test. I have put much thought into it since the last post, but have not had time to actually work on it. Right now, I am taking a break from the hard thinking and am attempting to enjoy the beautiful weather outside in my backyard. I say "attempting" because of the ridiculous number of mosquitoes that quite enjoy my "sweetness". So much for sitting in my "thinking garden".
Now, perched on the deck swing, I shall explain my title......

First of all, it is important to note that those mentioned in the title are still physical entities on this Earth. Where they have gone before me is on the same journey which I am now experiencing. As I prepare for the upcoming big day, I can't help but look back over the past few years of training. (The view is an interesting one.)

Training for this test has been a great adventure thus far, and help along the way has come from numerous sources. This opportunity is something that I have anticipated for many years. Although I may not have been fully aware of it at the time, my training for this test began at least six years ago when I first entered our school. Many life changing events have occurred outside of my Martial Arts career, but I now am beginning to understand what was happening the first day that I stepped into the Dojo.
It was, if I recall correctly, one week (or so) prior to a Black Belt test. I was there to complete my registration form and pick up a uniform. As I completed my little tasks, the doors to one of the training floors opened and out came a bunch of very sweaty, very exhausted people. Something more than the sweat and fatigue caught my attention, however. (that is, aside from the thought of "Holy S*#T! What have I gotten myself into?") I noticed that this group of people of varying ages and walks of life appeared to have a certain bond with one another. I recall overhearing conversations about what they were going to have for breakfast the following Saturday and what they should eat the night before. There was a particular "energy" about them that I did not recognize as well as a certain amount of "aloofness". (I mean this in a good way.) (I came to find out moments later that they were preparing for a Black Belt test which was scheduled for the following week.)
Up to that point and for some time after, I must admit, I had thought of Martial Arts training as simply a class that people attended. Nothing more, nothing less. (Of course, I knew that historically speaking there was much more to it than that, I mean, I did see the original Karate Kid!) I just didn't expect to experience the "more".
I officially met Terry at my very first class. She was one of the people in that group that I mentioned earlier. I had the honor and privilege of learning the "rules" and proper basic techniques from Terry. I have not stopped learning from her to this day, although she is not presently training with us. I am frequently reminded of little "Terryisms" during my own training, and they are invaluable! Although I miss her fine tutelage at our school, I feel quite fortunate to be able to continue to receive the "isms" through the cyber world and such. ;-)
Another member of the aforementioned group was young Sandy. Sandy has also since moved on to more pressing endeavors at the present time, but as with Terry, I continue to learn from the lessons that Sandy taught me nearly two years ago.

What I am really trying to say is, I am now beginning to understand that "fog" that those sweaty, exhausted people seemed to have around them. It was a fog of knowledge and understanding. It was a fog of realization that we all have limitations and that in order to get past those individual limitations, we have to rely on those around us. It was also a fog of energy and intent and the ability to manifest things that we never thought possible before. (It was also the fog of stress, pressure and a boatload of information floating around inside a human brain.)

So, Sandy, Terry, (and the others) Thank you for being there at the beginning of my journey and for providing me with many of the tools that I need now as I approach the steepest part of the climb. I am truly grateful, and am thrilled to have this opportunity!

Greetings, Earthling it's all a BIG TEST

Do you ever get the feeling that you are from a different planet?
I have been convinced for many years now that some day, "my people" will come back to get me. Maybe it has something to do with the dreams I had as a child of the space ships in the sky just beyond our neighborhood. Just thinking about it, although it is more than 20 years later, gives me a feeling of awe and excitement. In reality, I think that either "my people" forgot that they dropped me off, or this is all some cruel joke. Today, I feel quite sure that whether or not I am actually from another planet, it appears to other "Earthlings" that I am.
All right, here is the background on the alien thing. Bear with me....I'll get to the point in time.
The day began as any other non-work day. I got up, had coffee, walked the dogs, read the paper, etc. The plan for the day was to work on the written portion of my Black Belt test which is due in a couple of weeks. Now those who know me, and especially my fellow classmates (current and former) know well how consuming this testing experience is. The preparation in and of itself is enough to make you feel alienated from the rest of society. So, after my initial morning activities, I hunkered down with my test, laptop, and a few other resource materials and dove into the typing. This lasted for approximately 20 minutes before I got antsy and began exploring the ins and outs of the new laptop. Then, I built a new bird feeder and removed icky bugs from the window overlooking our backyard and new bird feeder. (Yeah, I was like this when I was actually in school too. It's amazing that I have a degree!)
With all of those necessary activities out of the way, I felt able to truly concentrated on the test materials.....so I made an egg burrito. It was one of the best darn egg burritos I have had in a long time!
Procrastination finished, I plopped back down and actually finished one question. (Essay questions, not the True/False jobbies) Actually, the questions are interesting and thought provoking and fun to research. So, being that they are such fun to research, and research can be done with books, and books can be found in a book store, it seemed high time to head off to the book store! Lady M and Baby Ruth also thought this seemed like a good idea, so off we went! (I did take along the test and laptop with the intention of working on the material in the cafe.) The next big decision was which store to go to. I chose Borders because, although on the other side of town, the cafe' is roomier and the whole place has a better feel to it. Of course, I inadvertently began heading towards the local Barnes and Noble and had to turn around to head back to Borders......should have followed my instinct, though. We arrived at Borders and braved the rain only to find that the Cafe' was closed (I assume for renovations based on the large tarp around it.....otherwise, I don't want to know why it's closed.) So, off to Barnes and Noble we go, but not to the one that I initially drove towards. This one is inside a little mall. Perfect for Lady M and Baby Ruth. They trotted off into the mall and I headed straight for the cafe' area for some coffee and a scone.
(This is where the "from another planet" thing comes into play)
I patiently awaited my turn in line, mouth watering over the coffee with soy milk and the blueberry scone that I was about to devour. The experience went something like this:
BARISTA 1: [mundane look on his face] "Can I help the next customer?"
ME: "Yes, could I have a grande coffee of the day with a little bit of soy milk, please an"...[he interrupts]
BARISTA 1: "OK that will be $1.87" *ka ching* goes the register
ME: [annoyed with being interrupted AND potentially missing out on that mouth watering scone that I shouldn't be eating anyway but now MUST order] "Uh, AND a blueberry scone, please."
BARISTA 1: [begrudgingly adding it into the total] *sigh* "blueberry?"
ME: "Yes, blueberry. Sorry, guess I didn't say it fast enough." (OK, uncalled for, but give a customer a chance to order, will ya? I had my scone, which was not spit on because I watched it the whole way to the counter and I slid over for my coffee which I witnessed being poured into the cup. Barista 2 placed the 3/4 full cup in front of me and placed the lid on it saying, "you wanted soy?"
ME: "Yes, please"
Barista 2 nodded and cocked his head toward the 3/4 full cup of very dark liquid.
ME: "Oh, is it in there already?" I asked while removing the lid and gazing curiously at the dark coffee.
BARISTA 2: "Yeah, it's in there."
ME: "Oh, uh, really? Uh, could I add a bit more, perhaps?" (my inner alien is saying, "it's in there? are you f-ing kidding me? I just watched you pour the coffee into the cup and it's just as black now as it was then, besides the fact that I just paid nearly $2.00 for a cup of coffee that isn't even full!")
BARISTA 2: "You want to add more?" (apparently he speaks inner-alien, because he sure gave me an odd look!)
ME: "Yes, could I?"
[BARISTA 2 gets out the soy mild and pours a few globs into my cup]
ME: "Perfect, thank you very much" - trying to sound pleasant.
Again, BARISTA 2 looks at me like I just came out of a steam room and forgot my robe.
ME: "Heh....gee...(yes, I said "gee") I feel like I'm from a different planet today."
BARISTA 2: [no smile, not even a smirk] "yeah, like us all, some days"
ME: [thinking, OK, now we are on the same page] "Heh heh....I just wish I remembered the trip, I bet it was a good one"
BARISTA 2: absolutely no comment, grin, smile, or other indication of amusement as he turns his head and looks at me as though I just turned green and began to beam up right in front of him.

I never did get beamed up, but I did have another interesting experience before we left the store. I met a lovely young man in the martial arts book aisle who was looking for a particular book. Prior to us speaking, I pulled a book off of the shelf to read the back cover. He glanced at it and said happily, "Oh, that's the one that I was looking for." I handed it to him and said,"looks interesting, enjoy". I had to convince him that I did not want to buy it because I was looking for something by Prof. Wally Jay. He inquired as to who that was and what sort of book I needed, so I proceeded to explain Small Circle Theory Jujitsu in 30 seconds or less. (This was good practice for me, as I need to talk about it on my test.) He then realized that the book he now had was not what he was looking for, but rather one with a similar title. I happened to know the book well ("The Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman) and informed him that he would have better luck in the fiction or Spiritual sections. We ended our chat, he went in search of the "Peaceful Warrior" and I levitated over to the Bargain books where I soon came across a bargain copy of "Peaceful Warrior" and "Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior" combined under one cover. What a deal, I thought, as I grabbed the book. I must find that guy and give him this book!
Utilizing skills learned from watching The Secret, I found the fella sitting with a lady friend at a table. He had a new copy of "Peaceful Warrior" and I happily presented him with the bargain that I found. It occurred to me only after a brief exchange and a couple of silly comments on my part that it must have seemed very odd to his lady friend that a stranger came trotting over to their table and presented her beau with a book that he had been looking for earlier and had, in fact, already found. (oh well)
Finally, once again utilizing skills learned from The Secret, I managed to "manifest" and empty table and sat down to answer another question on my test. It was just about that time that Lady M and Baby Ruth showed up and were ready to check out.
So, here I am, twelve hours after beginning the work on my test, still trying to finish it...........Today's experiences reinforced for me the need for patience, kindness, and the importance of helping one another even in the most unlikely of ways. Also important virtues in the world of Martial Arts.......I think I just answered another question from my test......

Welcome Beni MLK Bu

Please join us in welcoming our new friend, Beni MLK Bu! (Pronounced "Benny milk Boo")

Baby Ruth (18 months in a couple of days, for those who have been out of the loop for a while) received a gift card from her aunties K and L, and we made a very special trip to Build A Bear today. It was a very difficult decision as to who to stuff and bring home. The finalists were Shrek, Winnie the Pooh, and the little guy in the picture. Obviously, the turtle won in the end and is now enjoying his new home on our living room floor.

The whole experience went rather well. Baby Ruth was enthralled by the stuffing machine and very much enjoyed collecting the little hearts that go into the animals. You're really only supposed to put ONE in the critter, but we sure tried for more. Then, of course, there were the shoplifting attempts. Apparently, according to Baby Ruth, anyway, a turtle just can't have too many skirts and "Hello Kitty" tank tops. Lucky for us, we found them in the bottom of the stroller before leaving the store. (My previous retail career taught me to always keep an eye on those "empty" strollers - now I REALLY know why.) It's the toddlers that you have to watch out for!
As it turns out, skirts really don't fit well on turtles - sort of makes them appear to be in "drag". We, therefore, opted for the "overall" look instead.
After the outfit shopping, it was time to name the little fella. Baby Ruth didn't want to say his name aloud, so she typed it right into the computer. The actual spelling was "BEN I,,,MLKB U", but we were able to translate.

Once again, Beni MLK Bu, we welcome you to our humble abode!

Perspectives from the dirt

Once again, it has been quite a while between my posts. It really all goes back to the earlier post "Life gets in the way of itself". Busy busy busy.
Actually, it's not that I've been any busier than usual. I mean, there are the everyday chores, the doctor visits for Lady M and the Twins that she is "brewing", that thing called "work", and the training for the upcoming Karate test in August (this one's sure to be a doozy), but really, nothing "extra". I've just put the blogging on the waaay back burner. Enough excuses?

OK.

Lately I have been pondering perspectives. I ponder frequently, and try to do so from different points of view when possible. What got me started on this particular ponder was a recent softball game.
I play in a local "bar league" (AKA "lolly-pop ball") and this year am the manager of my team. (This sort of fell in my lap by default.) We play only on Wednesday nights, and have a blast each time we play. There are quite a few of my "co-workers" from the paper mill on the team, as well as pals from outside the mill. Many of us are former college players, either softball or another competitive sport. Now, we are older, wiser, and have day jobs. We are in the "B", or maybe even "C" league. I don't know which letter, but it's really more of a "beginner" league. We don't even have playoffs at the end of the season. I think the idea is for teams to earn their way into the "A" bracket, but we see things a bit differently, it seems. We are PERFECTLY content where we are.
We get together on Wednesday nights and play in the dirt. We try to tell ourselves that we don't care if we win or not, but being the natural competitors that we are, deep down we really want to score more runs than the other team. BUT, regardless of the final score, we have FUN. We blow off steam, we goof off, we take too long getting on or off the field (not on purpose, of course).
Here's where the perspective thing comes in. The other teams seem to take it so much more seriously. (I guess they really want to get to the "A" division.) They get upset when they make an error, and by upset, I mean angry. The umpires also get their panties in a twist on occasion. Very few smiles when things are going a bit awry.
This isn't the MAJOR LEAGUE for Pete sake!
We must drive them all crazy! We simply enjoy getting out there on the field. What is the difference? Are we more well-adjusted and happier with our lives? Perhaps.
I'm thinking, though, that we, as individuals and as a group, simply look at things from a different point of view. Our team consists of two current Div. I college softball coaches - they get paid to win games; numerous former scholarship players - they too, in effect, were paid to play; and quite a few people who are responsible for the lives and well-being of many people on a daily basis.
When Wednesday night comes around, it's all about the bat, the ball, and the dirt. It's fun. There is no pressure (as long as we have enough players....which is another perspective in and of itself).
My personal point of view, as team manager, has shifted slightly since last year. Although I have a ton of fun at the games, I do find my own panties in a twist each week as we scramble to find enough players from our roster to field a team. Most of the time we manage to get at least 9 together for a game. Then, the lineup must be done. My method of creating the lineup, prior to tonight, was ALPHABETICALLY. Do you think that is how they do it in the Majors? Tonight, I decided to live on the edge and go completely at random.
The absolute best part of all of this? Despite our fun-loving, care-free attitude and "strategically masterminded" line-ups, we have managed to WIN all of our games thus far!
Of course, it is not about winning or losing. Every one knows that it's how you play the game. Beyond that, however, it is how you perceive the game (life). There is a time and a place to be serious, no doubt. It is during those in between times (the "Wednesdays") that we should all take a moment or two to just go play in the dirt.